Asking for Help.

I hate asking for help, and I’m even uncomfortable accepting it when people offer it.  I would much rather be the person bringing people meals after they have a new baby, being the listening ear when a friend is struggling, or helping with childcare when a friend is sick.

When I was pregnant with my 3.5 year old, I was sick the entire nine months.  The kind of sick where I couldn’t be near the vicinity of the kitchen (much less the grocery store), watch TV (the movement nauseated me) or be on my feet for very long.  Friends offered to come over and help clean or bring meals, but I always said no.  I was embarrassed  that I needed the help and even though I would have LOVED to have someone come over and clean, it would have probably taken someone showing up at my door with the toilet brush in hand before I actually took someone up on the offer.

But through the adoption process, I’ve learned that there are some things in life that we simply can’t shoulder alone.

This even means that instead of just accepting help, we’ve had to actually ask for it.  We had to ask friends of ours to write reference letters for our homestudy and some of those same friends to again write reference letters for grants (thank you, kind friends).  Perhaps the most cringe-worthy request we’ve had to make is to ask people for their money.  Even though we’ve frozen our gym membership, cancelled ballet classes, and taken on more piano students–we haven’t been able to come up with the entire $30,000 alone.  Though the love and the desire to be united with our second child is there, the funds simply aren’t, and we’ve had to reach out others to help us.

Thankfully, our friends have been more than gracious and giving of their ideas, time, money, and services as we work to bring our child home.  Even though it still isn’t easy to ask for help, I can’t help but wonder if God is using this to show us His provision in our lives.  I recently got in touch with another adoptive mom to ask her advice when it comes to fundraising tactfully, and she pointed out some great things that have helped give me peace about the situation.  Because our need is public, others are able to become aware about the orphan crisis (something I strive to make sure is the focus of this website).  Because our need is public, it shows that you don’t have to be a millionaire to adopt and hopefully gives others the courage to take the “leap”.  Because our need is public, we are giving a people a chance to give both with their finances and their prayers.  Because our need is public, we are able to testify to others about how God is providing for us and seeing us through our journey.

We, in turn, are reminded of the many thoughtful and generous friends that God has blessed us with.  We, in turn, are learning to trust in God instead of ourselves.  And we, in turn, are learning that it is okay to ask others for help.

Thank you, dear friends, for the many ways you have been there for us in our adoption process.  Even though we have a long way to go, you have made the emotional and financial ups and downs thus far easier to bear.  And you make asking for help a whole lot less cringe-worthy!


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