Terminology.

So I have a little confession that may offend some adoptive mamas out there…which I really hope it doesn’t but I’m just going to throw it out there anyways.

There’s this term out there for the day a family is united with their adopted child — “Gotcha Day”. The thing is…I’ve never really liked it. I never really gave it a second thought when I would hear it before we began this process, but now that we’re in it and nearing “THE DAY” I’ve been realizing I kind of have an aversion to it. Not in an “it makes me cringe” or “it offends me deeply” kind of way. In a way where I just don’t think the terminology is a good fit for our family and our situation with adoption.

I have a couple of reasons for my thoughts…

1-Adoption is beautiful, but it starts with a whole lot of sadness and loss. Baby Boy has lost a lot in his short life, and in coming to us he will also be leaving behind his birth country and his friends and nannies and language and all that. I sort of feel like the whole “gotcha” thing kind of adds this idea of “I snatched you away from your terrible life, thank goodness!”  I dunno…maybe I’m over-thinking it. 

2-For our personal situation, we have decided that Joel is traveling to Congo alone to pick up Baby Boy…so it’s not necessarily — for us — the day where our family is united.  I feel like the real celebration will begin when Baby Boy touches American soil and we’re all together at last.

For us, we’ll be annually celebrating that day of becoming a family — when Baby Boy arrives home in Montana and we ALL have our son and brother to love on. It’s important to me that this celebration includes both of our children. I feel sort of like celebrating a “Gotcha Day” excludes Yaya, our bio kiddo, and puts this added importance on our adopted kiddo. I mean, if my little brother had TWO special days every year (birthday + one more), I would have been totally jealous and probably have thought he was the favorite kid. I’m pretty sure we already thought that of each other anyways and didn’t need anything to exacerbate the situation.

So for us — we’ll be celebrating “Airport Day” each year, when our family became a family of four.  It’s just what works for us, but maybe you have a better fit for your family and honor your child differently. It’s all good.

We’re busy packing and filling out visa applications and all that….pictures and updates to come soon.

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