Eight Months

Baby Boy is eight months old today. We bought him a little hat to wear on Easter, since I’m still hoping he’ll be home in enough time for us to cocoon before then…and you’ll just have to wait to see a picture of him in the hat. It might be a really cute fedora. It might be the second fedora I have bought him. I might have a tendency to purchase Carlton-like clothes for our little guy… (Fresh Prince fans, anyone?)

I’ve been struggling with some guilt lately. Some of it is guilt because I have been moaning a lot on this blog about waiting, which has felt excruciating lately. But then I read this post by — who else? — my hero and imaginary best friend Jen Hatmaker and that made me feel a little bit better — and I would encourage you to read it, too, if you’re a waiting mama.

I also have some “survivor’s guilt” about not being subject to the new investigations that would have delayed our process a minimum of three more months. I have been on my knees thanking God so many times throughout the day, especially when I think how narrowly we escaped the new delay. Our appointment was made one week before the new rules went into effect. I look back on our process and think of how if we had taken a couple of extra days to take out our loan when we accepted the referral, not sent in our contracts the day we received them, not paid extra to have our i600 application overnighted, or if our agency hadn’t called the moment the embassy opened…well, we would be looking at a May homecoming — at the earliest. And even though I know God loves Baby Boy even more than I do and would take care of him for those additional three months, it would have been so difficult. Especially when he has had so many health issues. He needs to be home with his family.

One week…and the next few months would have looked so different for us.

Over and over again I see the Lord’s hand taking care of us throughout this adoption journey. And this…..well…..just….

Thank you, Lord.


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